“If you don’t ask, you don’t get.” Stevie Wonder

Mary Lee Felder, Program Manager, Job Search Strategies One of the titles of a workshop I have taught on teambuilding is called, “Just Ask.” Everyone laughs during the humorous group tasks as they realize how extremely difficult it is to follow this command.

When we find ourselves looking for work or changing careers it seems that these two words become more a curse than a joy.  While we all agree that we want to receive, we often hope that we don’t have to ask to get what we want.  What makes some of us so averse to asking when it comes to advancing our careers?

Shyness and lack of confidence aside, perhaps the first obstacle we encounter in asking for help with our job search is our own past negative experiences with being asked for help by others.  If this is one of our roadblocks, we may need some guidelines for how to be effective askers.

When searching the Internet on the subject of “how to ask”, hundreds of sites pop up, but none of them specifically provided coaching on the skill of asking for job seekers.

However, one site, catb.org, did make me smile and gave me some excellent help on the protocol of asking.

The site introduction begins “in the world of hackers the kind of answers you get to your technical questions depends as much on the way that you ask the questions as on the difficulty of developing the answer.”

There’s so much truth within this statement as well as in an article by a self-proclaimed ‘hacker’ entitled “How to Ask Questions the Smart Way”.

The first section of the article involves what to do before you even ask. It points out that the first responsibility is to attempt to answer the question yourself and it outlines the “earmarks of a lazy asker”.  The signs include expecting someone else to do your homework, failing to think through and prepare your question, asking a wrong question because of a faulty assumption or assuming you are entitled to an answer.

The next section covers “When You Ask”. Outlined here is the importance of where and when to ask a question.  It’s essential to demonstrate respect for the time offered by your respondent. Giving them a window of time to reply back to you shows that you value them as well as their input. Describing briefly the steps you have already taken to get your questions answered can also save them response time. They will see where you have gone to solve the problem yourself and won’t send you to similar dead-ends.

It’s also important to be specific about what you want the respondent to do. Some of the queries might involve asking them for pointers or advice on a particular topic or asking for the name of a person having knowledge in the field who could be contacted.  You might also ask for other referral sources that they can recommend. You should not be open-ended in your request for help because this can be a “time sink hole” for your respondent.

Some other protocols include not labeling your question urgent because, while it might seem that way to you, it might not to the person you’re asking.  Be courteous and follow up with a brief note on the outcome from the solution your contacts provided.

The key to remember as an asker is that most people do genuinely love to provide help. But most would agree that they would appreciate knowing that the assistance given was genuinely useful.

Today I myself had a call from a previous ‘asker’ in my life.  He phoned to say thank you for some guidance I had given that he said had helped him to land the job he had wanted.

That kind of call encourages me to be an ‘asker’ as well as a respondent.  I wonder.  Could following a few simple rules from a “hacker” and then finding the courage to ask produce “full joy” on both sides of any question?

 

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Mary Lee Felder, Program Manager, Job Search Strategies

Please Note:  JSS has been closed

 

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